Sexy Saturday

Happy 4th of July

Funny E-mails - not my own work!!!

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning, Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to...'

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked Mrs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. ' And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted

Tuesday Rants

Sidewalks!!! Where have they all gone???

When I was a kid, I remember there being sidewalks everywhere. What happened? The place I just left didn’t have them and the new neighborhood I just moved into doesn’t either. Our property line is way back from the road so there could possibly have been sidewalks put in, but no. Nothing. We have to walk in the street if we want to walk around the block. Which isn’t all that bad in my new neighborhood, but I’ve been in a few where you're taking your life into your hands by stepping off the curb.

The last two women’s fiction stories I’ve read had some wonderful scenes where the family or couple walked hand in hand through the neighborhood meeting the neighbors. It lovely, touching, and a bit whimsical. But are these types of stories and practices going to the wayside so that developers can make a few extra bucks by cheating the people out of sidewalks? Who knows?

But it really bites.

Sexy Saturday

Summer Writing Challenge - Check In Day!!!

It's check in day!!! How is the writing going???

Drive-By Blogging

Hey Everyone!!!

I am having the busiest of years… With school and moving and working on the new house, everything else is set at the bottom of the pile.

I did want to stop over here and congratulate Walt and Tamara on doing so well with the Summer Writing Challenge. You both are a huge inspiration… Tamara, I would have commented on your post but can’t seem to find where you posted it (I saw it via the e-mail response I get whenever someone posts something). I hope everyone else is doing as well or (like me) at least surviving life enough to look forward to future writing…

I also wanted to give a shout out to my friend, Devon Gray. Hop on over and check out her newly updated website. Very sexy and I’m anxiously anticipating the release of her first book in August…

That’s it for me today. Hope you are all having a great month and keep coming back. I love hearing from all of you…