Funny E-Mail

The Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners:

Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex.

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

Tatyr: A lecherous Mr. Potato Head.

Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the recipient who doesn't get it.

Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

Burglesque (n): A poorly planned break-in. (See: Watergate)

Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

Glibido: All talk and no action.

Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid & an ...

Infelicitous: American slang for co-worker

Contratemps: the resentment permanent workers feel toward the fill-in workers.

Vaseball: a game of catch played by children in the living room.

Acme: a generic skin disease.

Doltergeist: a spirit that decides to haunt someplace stupid, such as your septic tank.

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